Problematic People

I can relate so much. I wish I had people around me who want to talk about solutions rather than complaining and blaming

Always gonna encourage being the best friend you can possibly be BUT just a reminder that there are some who will take advantage of that

my favorite part about Swoozie is that he still dresses like he's in 2010

"Everyone wants to be the victim, but nobody wants to be the villian." - swoozie

I haven’t watched in 5+yrs it’s good to see that swoozie literally hasn’t changed lol same room same animation it’s good good to see he’s doing his own thing

I used to be entertained by swoozie a couple of years back but now im not only entertained but inspired and learn so much about storytelling now that i have a channel … Thank You Swoozie ❤️🔥💯

Most of the time, friends usually just need someone to listen when they talk about their problems. Don't automatically assume they need advice. Also, it's 100% harder when you're in the situation yourself so ofc advices would be easier said than done. It's a little frustrating to see my friends staying in toxic situations even after they've talked about it a million times but I choose to be patient and understanding. But if being the therapist friend is draining for you it's completely fine to set boundaries.

I can understand Swoozie's frustration, but, when people come to you with their problems it is seen
(from a psychologist perspective)
As them seeking emotional support rather than practical salutation.
He's right that it's not fair to be the "therapist friend", basically, but I just want to point out that (depending on the person) it does come from good intentions and (I'm sure Swoozie's done this) a way to that can help them realise what they're doing is to tell them what those constraints negative conversations are doing to you.
Hopefully that helps 🙌 IDKU

SwooZie has been through it all and shares his knowledge to his students. Truly, a top tier teacher of the game

I was in a similar situation and it was very mentally draining. We both wronged each other but they showed a lot of signs what they would be like further on. Everytime I tried to find a solution they would ignore me or come up with excuses to not do it. I ended the friendship since they kept it up and always voice their problem, and when I had a hard time, they said I was a draining person. I wishI could do more but I’m kinda glad that I ended that toxic friendship

I appreciate Swoozie for a lot of his friendship videos. His influencer lifestyle isn't super relatable when it comes to gf/bf relationships, but usually he's on point with these videos.

It can be tough sometimes keeping good people in your circle, but I always try to remain mindful of people and I'm pretty good at weeding out those who don't share the same interest.. nice video though, Swoozie! 💯💯👌🏾

Swoozie is truly the best philosopher of our generation, he teaches us alot of wise solutions to annoying/awkward situations in real life, what a respectable lad.

I didn't have a lot of friends growing up either, in my late teens early 20s I started making friends and was easier as I grew up. However I also had the same problem where I attracted either takers, or codependent people or ones that just didn't have my best interests and kept me around because I was useful.
Thankfully I dropped so many "friends" in my latter 20s and things are much clearer in my 30s.
You can smell the bullshit a mile away at this age lol, that's why I love my 30s.

Damn the timing of this video is ON POINT.
Just two days ago one of my friends decided not to be friends anymore with one of our mutual friends even tho they were like besties, because the drama got too much. Honestly can't even blame them, they do be right.

Funny enough, psychologically we are wired to like a person better that asks us for help. Regardless of what they do in return for us. And every single person is that way for some reason. We feel closer to them as a result. Maybe its because to ask for help subconsciously signals that a person is showing humility or vulnerability by asking for help in the first place. So not actually a bad thing to ask for help, in fact it only helps you.
That being said, if some toxic trait really bothers you about a friend, I'd say just talk to them about it. Often times they will do things subconsciously or as a force of habit without even thinking about it. Doesn't mean that they have bad intentions necessarily. If it's causing you grief, don't bottle it up because that will just cause you to hold things against them or feel negatively towards them in some way. Just have an honest face to face conversation with them about it. Point is just communicate with your friend, they don't know what's going on inside your mind either and they can't change their behavior if they're not aware of a problem. Don't be the friend that just bottles things up or fails to communicate because that makes you the shitty friend as well.

I’ve been watching swoozie for ages and have taken all the advice he has said in his videos and it fr has made me such a big hearted loving person that people like, and a bonus is I like them too!!

I love the classic big head stick figure animation. Using that through most of the video and showing yourself here and there is the format I prefer. So basically this exact video is how I like them all to be. 👍🏻

My therapist asked me yesterday, "Would you say your friends are sensitive?" And I immediately answered yes.
Then she clarified, "Sensitive meaning they are sensitive towards your feelings?"
And I was like... "Oh... no. Not at all. I am that for them fir most of them."

Definitely encountered my share of problematic friends that were toxic. And they never really looked out for me the way I did for them. Kinda sad it took me a long time to realize this but leaving all those problematic people behind was the best decision ever.

I've definitely been on both sides of this. Sometimes I complain about the same problem, then deal with it terribly, and other times I'm listening to someone tell the same story for the fiftieth time, and I'm comming up with fifty different ways they could solve their issue. We all can be both people, just remember that the people you complain about probably share more in common with you than you think.

Swoozie is such a great PLclipr you always make me smile 😊

Always handing out good advice been watching you’re videos for years keep up the good work!

I’d argue one of the reason people would stay friends with problematic people is because they aren’t willing to enforce their own boundaries when necessary. Having boundaries and enforcing them has helped me cut out the people I need to, I never did this in the last, although, it’s been great making my boundaries clear to people and enforcing them where applicable. 💪💪

these videos are always PERFECTLY timed. thank you swoozie 🙏

People like us are sensitive and care about others, and when we get hurt it causes a similar kind of reaction. There is holding a grudge and not being able to move on, and venting your frustrations to anyone who will listen to justify yourself, but then there is searching for closure.
I could relate to this video a lot in how I've tended to be the cause of conversational drama, but my tendencies have been due to seeking to rectify with others, when others refuse to mend the issues.
In normal circumstances one would just move on to better things, but in my case there is no alternative to move to. I've been gatekept from a community I love due to the pettiness and inability to cope from some of it's members and board leaders. I keep bringing it up with those who will listen because I seek closure, I want to be understood and rectify any open issues anyone may have with me, but it's not going anywhere.
I've come to understand that my constant talking about it bothers people for the same reasons outlined in this video, and I've been more aware and avoided the topic, though the pain and longing still lingers. To hold a grudge you hurt yourself, but when you lack closure, you can't really help that...

Your voice and your tone and enunciations are always great on great, always great to get a point across and for story telling

Swoozie, from being a kid to now and listening to your stories, I learned alot. lets just say that.

I was in one of those friendships for way too long. Like from Kindergarden to high school. I know from the very beginning I wasn't interested in being friends but I am easily persuaded so I was just stuck in this toxic relationship. After so much drama, I finally just ghosted. Recently because of our mutual friend, she contacted me. I decided to respond because I was curious about her life. I had no intention to do anything beyond texting. When she said she wanted to go somewhere with me, I was brutally honest with her. Got a wall of angry texts. I don't regret my decision.

Swoozie I love you so much bro, like you posted this video like not even 2 days after I dumped off a toxic friendship I've been in for a while now and this video made me feel a bit better knowing that I'm.not the only one that thinks those traits are wrong. Love you

Lmao this is so accurate and timely, just had a convo yesterday with a good friend of mine about how I couldn’t deal with her problematic tendencies anymore and I wake up to an essay’s worth of angry texts from her🚶🏾‍♂️

I love your videos Swooz. Keep up the good work. I got mad respect for you bro.

Swoozie you are still the greatest. Keep making content and living your best life. All love to you🙇🏾‍♂️

Crazy I been watching swoozie since I was in 4th grade now I’m a freshman in college and I’m still watching him man keep up with the amazing videos :)

I agree with what you said in the video , people say they don’t need anyone but in reality it’s just that they surround themselves with bad people and then they think that they are just better off alone, when they just in reality need to change who they hang around

There is one quote that once I heard it stuck with me like glue:
"When people show you who they are, believe them the first time." -Maya Angelou.
Those words have been proven true time and again in my life. Especially when dealing with abusive people. In our hearts of hearts we might want to help someone or think that "oh but he's really a sweet guy deep down, I should stick it out a bit longer." NO! We can't CHANGE anyone. That is something they have to do on their own.
As much as it may hurt, for your own sanity, you need to cut them off. A rotten apple is a rotten apple regardless of which side you look at.

Self reflection is key. No lies detected. Love ya and thank you Swoozie 💕

Agreed. Telling people who they can and cannot hang out with is a deal breaker for me.

PSA: start setting boundaries with the people you love and the people you’re forced to associate yourself with. You don’t have to completely cut someone off when they start exhibiting toxic traits but in order to stop yourself from engaging in that cycle of negativity boundaries need to be set. You can do this by saying things like “can we talk about something else” or “I don’t think I’m the best person to talk about this issue with”. Complaining about someone else always complaining about something to you is a sign that you need to work on setting boundaries with other people and stop people pleasing.
There’s no point in complaining about how all the people around you are toxic when you choose to engage with toxic energy.

I understand, I used to have a problematic friend and had to cut her out of my life. People will be people but watch out for those who cares and those who don't. Lots of love ❤️ your videos are awesome ❤️❤️

I had a friend group that exploited me and my problems to coworkers, then refused to work it out with me and move on, then eventually dipped. They didn't want to deal with the guilt and shame they felt over hurting me or take responsibility.

Apparently in my case my main issue is the opposite. I don't like talking with other people about my problems deeply enough. Mostly because I feel like I am just unecessarily burdening those friends or people with my own issues. Seems that is unhealthy too.

I swear every time I see a notification from Swoozie my face always lights up with a smile😂❤

I can relate to this video so much. I hope we all don't have problematic friends in he future.

I’m really happy because when Swoozie said “think of one problematic friend”, I realized those people aren’t in my life anymore and didn’t have any example. Yay :)

I had this recently. Noped out of that friendship real quick. Good thing too. They had too many problems that they didnt want to fix and be in that "toxic cloud" all the time

Listening to Swoozie's storytelling and advice maybe makes me realize that we need people like him to support for a friend in need, thank you, Swoozie for being a true and real "you" to show us what a support friend needs for those people who have big problems in life to guide and support them in a right way! 🙏🙂❤️

Everything you said was sooo true! I think this is your best video so far Swoozie! Keep on making the best vids ❤

Just remember everyone, all relationships are about giving and taking. If you have a perfect balance where both people are giving and taking equally, then that's usually a good relationship. If one person is giving or taking more than the other, then something's gotta change.

Really just struck me. I’m going though this with friends now. Just put more into perspective for me. Thank you 🙏

Swoozie is like like one hype man who just came up with a speech on the spot to push the team and make us best the evil curses, wait.

You really drop videos at perfect times that help me with the situations im dealing with forreal

Im pretty sure at some point I was this friend (not about relationship) but I was also the one who was friends with problematic people. When i realized they were toxic i dropped them and over time when i made new friends i discovered i also had those toxic traits as well. It also made me realized I was a people pleaser hence why i made friends with these people, but they didnt care that I cared...So yeah, dont be a liability and dont befriend them either

I honestly needed to hear this Swooz. Thank you so much for this video; it gives me reassurance that I’m not the only one feeling that my close friend had become somewhat problematic.

This whole video killed me. I literally was JUST having this conversation with someone with me ignoring the red flags of someone with this tendency just a couple days ago, and I myself finally watched Jujutsu Kaisen like 2 months ago. 😭

So excited for a swoozie video! Such a true relatable video thanks! 💚

Bro swoozie is like that one chill friend you always come to for advice and they give good advice without panicking about whatever problem is happening

We love you swoozie keep educating and doing what you do

Thank you for uploading this!❤ this really helps say that everyone has went through this and those manipulative people are always praised. I even added this to one of my playlists as a reminder

Y'know, watching this, I think Swoozie makes a really good roll model,
hearing the way he talks of caring circles and also mentioning to care for your circle is a nice just slice of life reminder of morals and ethics and general empathy which I think is quite admirable.

I had a best friend since the 4th grade that I eventually had to stop being friends with after highschool. I stayed in that friendship 3 years longer than I'd wanted to because I felt like I owed it to the friendship of not just giving it up because this was someone that felt like family to me (chosen family) but it eventually got to be way too much and they were more using me for when they wanted to do stuff by that point and just man did it suck but feel way better once it was over. I still have dreams and want to reach out from time to time and I'm almost sure they probably got better over time and maybe we could be friends again but I'm honestly too scared to try, especially if it means going through that again.

i’ve been watching swoozie for a long time and i swear he shaped me into the kind and caring human i can be. he taught me so many lessons. thank you swoozie🤭🥰

i must admit, when im friends with someone, i care too much, and they end up having my feelings and the fact that im one rejection away from becoming a villian, in the palm of their hand....so i think i need to step back and take your advice, thanks swoozie

This is actually why I stopped being friends with these kind of people, if I come across a person that way- I do keep my distance for the most part. Being on the side of someone being a really good friend, that is something I truly appreciate and respect much more although it does make that friend group very small..

I never get tired of swoozies stories n wisdom ...in life I've made a bad choice of friends ,they pretended to be good but we're toxic just to talk behind my back n make fun of me ...now I realise it's better to be alone than to be with toxic ppl for a second... I'll admit I have my faults but i am done pleasing ppl n I now do things to plz for myself

I knew a girl who couldn't stop talking 💩 about her ex-boyfriend. It was always a never-ending "I can't understand how he could do this" etc... after digging into the details by asking questions I noticed that each time it was actually more of her fault in it. She wanted a guy who not only does everything for her but who is going to do everything that he doesn't want to or agree with. Her mindset was: "oh, you don't like this? Then you will do it right now, and you will do it for me".
Taking the time and choosing wisely the energy around you is so important 😶‍🌫

Hearing about drama from a friend that has to do with a mutual friend is the worst. It feels like you have to take sides but i just listen and try to understand their feelings, and then personally take into consideration how the mutual friend may be feeling and not get involved.

my ex turned toxic so gradually it was easy for me to excuse their behavior for a long while. in the end i wasn't even the one who dropped them, they dumped me cause i didn't realise what kind of a sucky person they've become. i just wanted to forgive and understand everything but in the end they had become truly selfish and two-faced, even abusive to me

Swoozies advice is worth its weight in gold. Great role model. Im always happy to see him on my feed cause no matter what its a must watch

My mom always gave the best advice about people. As a kid she always said “don’t let anyone choose your friends. If someone gossips about another kid and tells you to stay away from them, tell that person ‘you don’t choose my friends!’ And always make your own judgements”
I didn’t really get it but I always followed her advice

I find it so funny that this video popped up as I'm going through a reflective period after said topic. This is the second big break when it comes to me leaving a friendship like this.
And both times it was the tried and true "everybody wants to be the victim and NOBODY wants to be the villain" mentality. So with each time I go through this type of deal, I make sure I'm not talking garbage when I talk to others about it. I make sure to remember to include what I did because I don't want to paint the other side in the bad light because I know it's a two way street.
Basically, I keep it to facts I remember from what I can gather on both sides. Remembering that as long as you're able to realize that you can be the villain, you're more likely to catch yourself faster and have a better approach to things even when things are flushing down the pooper.

My toxic trait is definitely confrontation. Both sides too. I can’t confront people and really don’t like being confronted. I’m better with people confronting me, but when it comes to me going to someone else, I break down SO HARD

When Is swoozie coming back?!? I miss listening to him talk about problems everybody has or at least had once! Come back swoozie! Please?! PLclip misses you

Hey sWooZie, that was a great video. Sometimes you hit the nail on the head. Being serious and true to yourself about such topics is a really hard task for everyone out there. Of course it is not possible to always have such real quality videos, however these are my favorite ones. :)

the thing is that he can upload 6 videos in a whole year and still have us relate to his videos

Wow this video could’ve come at a better time, literally had to cut ties with someone who I called a best friend a few weeks ago. This friend was always gossiping and complaining about her friends and co-workers on a daily basis to me and it was so emotionally draining and took its toll on my mental health. Loved the video sWooZie 👍🏽

Been watching since a kid this is definitely going to help me weed out who is good for me and who isn’t

Swoozie's life XP is over 9000, I've been a fan for 8 years and some of the life lessons you've given I've applied to my own life plus you were a big reason why I decided to university and get an illustration degree

Swoozie man I have to say that I love your videos. I've been watching since 2018 when I was in Middle School. Now I'm a junior and truly love your videos man keep it up!

This is something that I’ve been noticing as I’ve been going through my adult life. There are friends that are good to hang out with for a night out, but then there are friends who can help you through your emotional trauma. I have a nice mixture of the two.

You speak the truth! However, everyone who says they know you is not a friend. There are a lot of weirdos out here that low-key stalk and then pretend to be in relationship with a person. Meanwhile, that person doesn't even know they exist.

Toxicity is a disease it's best to cut off one of your closest friends and cut communication towards them entirely no matter how many times they try to backstab you
You need to keep moving forward don't let it slip under the radar don't let their attacks let you down you gotta get back on your feet and continue to strive to be a good person

I can definitely relate, I’m not naturally social but I met a female that I befriended at my last job (mistake #1) and we got close during the 2020 lockdown, had a fall out last year but eventually rekindled a few months later after she reached out but the reason for the fall out stayed in the back of my mind. Overtime I started seeing the same problematic trait (major anger issues and mooching) but because of me still hoping she’d eventually turn back into the version of her I loved from 2020, I ignored it (mistake #2) until shit hit the fan and she did something so fucked up that now we can never be friends again no matter how much time passes. It sucked at first but now I’m happy because she really was a toxic person underneath the person I originally befriended and my life now although I’m back to being introverted is much better than it was the last few months of our “friendship”

i haven’t seen your channel in my recommended in SOOO LONGG. it’s crazy bc for the past week I’ve been thinking about this same topic. my best friend for 7 years has me thinking this. i might be little slow for just now starting to see all the bs she brings to my life, but i guessed I just over looked it bc that is my friend. right now tho im coming to a time in my life where I don’t want all the drama and helpin to fix her after shes put herself in situations I’ve warned her about. I do t know if I really want to keep her around bc all of it is draining me to the point where I don’t even pick up my phone some days bc I don’t want to have to deal with. and for me I know that’s my breaking point bc im the type of person to help and be there for you whenever you need me to.
well that got pretty long lol. but if you read could anyone help me out. i just really don’t know if I should keep her around anymore :(

I had a friend like that in middle school. Loved drama, even (especially?) when he had to invent it himself. Could be so funny and chaotic, but also make me feel really angry and sad at times. Luckily, he went to a vocational school after 8th grade.

Thank you for your wisdom swoozie! ❤️

Sometimes I feel like we need a fit check in the videos cause Swoozie be looking too good not to share what he is wearing

SWooZie I rewatched almost all of your videos three days ago. And then I was gifted with this. you just made my entire week!

Swoozie dropping back to back love it, you speak nothing but facts swoozie

Honestly, like Swoozie says, we never really see our toxic traits and love to blame other people for drama. I believe that its nice to have a 1 on 1 with yourself and reflect on how you can be better as a person rather than blaming people for your problems.

One thing I like about myself is when I'm telling my friends my issues n asking for advice, I'll admit to them what may have come off wrong or what I may have done wrong in a situation

Bro, I've been watching you for over a decade now. So much of your advice has helped me navigate dealing with people, friends, and most of all, myself, throughout my early 20's and now late 20's.
I had a friend who fit the Anakin analogy to a T. They were fun and we got along and at the same time, almost every time we talked it was them blaming/complaining, so much so that, they'd supersede an ongoing convo just to complain about an unrelated inconvenience that happened to them. For a while I would listen and hear them out noticing they want to vent and overtime I realized I was partially enabling that behavior. I was transitioning myself to be a therapist and not sticking to my original job as a friend.
I explained to them how that behavior was affecting the friendship and me, they didn't like that. After much back and forth, I stepped away.
Sometimes it's okay to be by yourself or have less friends instead of keeping bad company. Your vids helped a lot realizing things like that and I appreciate it 🙏🏾

Feeling really stressed and was thinking I need a swoozie video right now
Came just in time 🙏🏽

it's kinda creepy how u read my relationship with one of my ex friends. She always talked about her problems but never listened to mine, and whenever I'd give her advice for her horrible lifestyle she'd just say "right" and never actually put in the work to change her situation

Swoozie! You should make a video on what's the best way to distance ourselves from such people/friends we no longer like

This video could not come at a better time, I have this one friend who isn’t necessarily bad but just loves to complain, after I told them I was fed up of them venting about this one boy and felt like our friendship has become 90% complaining about their problems solely, they slowly transition to talking about their boyfriend’s problems and I’m so done with this but idk if I should keep the friendship going since they’re still my friend... it’s like I’m stuck in a loop

No, you’re completely right I had a friend Mac she was like this every single time we hung out. It was her complaining about her family, and how she couldn’t do anything because she made a promise to dead people to keep living life like this, even though she’s soooooo miserable, and has no way to change it, even though she really did it was just too much work. So glad she’s out of my life. I am happy.

I tend to ignore things I’ve done wrong and try really hard to make myself feel better whether that be placing blame on something else or taking responsibility but making sure others know I do. Which isn’t the point and is selfish. I am actually actively trying to work around this

You talk about the real shit nobody else acknowledges this is why I love your channel swoozie

These videos are just truly the prefect mix of entertaining and informative, thanks a lot for the great content.